How have I remained quiet for so long? I’ve let the expectations of others keep me quiet, let societal norms sedate and restrain me. I’ve let it drain me until I felt totally paralyzed. These last couple nights I felt restless. My feet wanted to meet the sidewalk in a strange place so I could think, but instead I slept restless and stirring. I don’t want to disappoint myself anymore with my spirit atrophied from apathy and disuse. I want to change, but instead I hear voices telling me only to grow up, to let it go, cut off circulation to my wonder and amazement and let them die and fall off. Still to this day I’m told that I can’t enjoy the things I do because of jobs, hiring managers and politicians and police will not take me seriously. I’m twenty two fast approaching disenchantment and I just want to be nineteen and on Ferris wheels and on top of buildings and to play guitar on the goddamned streets again because Fuck you America this is America, where I can be anything if I give up everything.